Curiosity Over Certainty – My Podcast “Med School or Not”

Written by Mikayla Tsai

Throughout my life, I’ve always liked the feeling of certainty — in having something tangible that I could work towards, as it gave me a sense of direction and stability.

In my freshman year of college, going to medical school quickly became a concrete goal for me that kindled a fire that served as my primary motivation to succeed in both the academic and extracurricular realms — essentially throwing myself at every opportunity in seeing what stuck…and what didn’t.

During the final exam season of last semester, it dawned on me that I knew next to nothing about what medical school entailed or exactly what I had to be doing during undergrad in order to achieve this lofty goal. Prior to this realization, I’d romanticized the idea of medical school in solely focusing on the positive aspects — the regal white coats, generous pay, the respect I’d garner from others around me, the meaningful patient interactions…and so on.

Like the flip of a switch, my academic motivation dissipated into nothingness as medical school was no longer a concrete goal for me. I began sleeping nine-plus hours nightly as a coping mechanism, stopped attending most of my morning classes, and couldn’t sit still to study for more than an hour before scurrying off in search of food. Gradually, every A that I earned lost its value for me as I no longer saw the point of a good grade.

As the days inched on, I began reaching out to various people via Zoom calls in the hopes of gaining a clearer picture of what medical school entailed — while also gaining exposure to other science-related professions that may pique my interest.

It dawned on me that I couldn’t possibly be the only one experiencing this tumult of doubt and uncertainty. No matter how confident and put-together all the other Pre-Med students around me appeared, there had to be someone else going through a similar dilemma — putting on a brave face to be perceived as strong.

Consequently, I decided to record each Zoom session and make it into individual episodes which gave way to my podcast titled Med School or Not? This is a dual podcast, which focuses on all aspects of medical school, along with the insight gained from other professions within the realm of science.

Within these short 6 months, I’ve had the privilege of speaking with individuals such as Sir Richard Roberts who was awarded the Nobel Prize for his discovery of split genes, Clara Wu who currently attends Harvard Medical School and Katherine Han who previously worked at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center — one of the leading cancer institutes in the nation.

Like running through a tunnel without an end in sight, I’ve realized that it’s unrealistic to be completely certain of one’s future and I’ve grown to accept that. Through this podcast, I hope to come away with thoughtful insight, in the hope that this journey of self-discovery can be something that is discussed more openly within the Pre-Med bubble.

My podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify: https://linktr.ee/medschoolornot